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Lumberwoods
U N N A T U R A L   H I S T O R Y   M U S E U M

“  F E A R S O M E   C R I T T E R S  
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    Mr. Stiner stood there patiently for three hours when the joke took another turn. The jokers had grown weary of his monotonous patience.
    A specially appointed constable went up and arrested him for violating the game law, telling him that in Arizona the snipe season didn’t open until September 2.
    Mr. Stiner was pained and surprised. He was taken to town and arraigned before a mock justice of the peace, who held him under $1,000 bond to appear for trial at 10 o’ clock the next morining. The bond was furnished after considerable delay and Mr. Stiner upon recomendation of friends employed Col. Crandell to defend him. P. T. Robertson representing the dignity of Arizona. A jury of twelve wass impaneled and the trail proceeded under a tree in a corral. A mass of evidence was introduced among which was the pilow case marked “Exhibit A” and the candles, “Exhibit B.” The story was told and a dozen citizens testified to Mr. Stiner’s open and flagrant violation of the law. One witness upon whom the territory relied to prove that a snipe had actually been caught by Mr. Stiner admitted under cross examination that he had not seen the snipe and had been unable to find any feathers.
    Whereupon the district attorney moved to amend the complaint so that Mr. Stiner would stand charged, not with a violation of the game law, but with an intent to violate it.
    The evidence was concluded and the jury retired returning half an hour later with a verdict of guilty.
    Mr. Stiner was asked if he had any thing to day before sentence was passed upon. He arose and in a broken voice X
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said he regretted the unfortunate occurrence not so much on account of the impending punishment as because he had unwittingly placed himself in the attitude of a law breaker within less than a dozen hours after his arrival in Arizona. He was always been a law abiding citizen and had never before violated any national, state or municipal regulation.
    The court delivered a long address in which it expressed regret that it must carry out the stern decree of an inexorable law of which ignorance could not be pled as an excuse for its violation. Then he fined Mr. Stiner $50. At the request of the defendant’s counsel and with the consent of the district attorney the fine was afterward reduced to beer for the court, counsel, jurors, witnesses and spectators. Adjournment was taken to a saloon and one round of drinks cost Mr. Stiner $6.50 In the joyfulness and simplicity of his soul he thanked everybody, the court for its consideration, the district attorney for the elimination of personal malice and bitterness from his conduct of the prosecution, and his own attorney for his masterful and half successful defense.
    Mr. Stiner didn’t know it was a joke until the following Saturday night. His ill humor was an offset to all the good humor which had abounded in Globe during the three preceding days.
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From— Tombstone Prospector. (Tombstone, Ariz.), 02 Sept. 1896. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress.
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